Gay bullying, teacher bullying, Puck-in-juvie bullying — we cram it all into one ‘Glee’-cap.
By Jim Cantiello
The girls rock out to AC/DC on last night’s “Glee”
Photo: Fox
This week’s episode of “Glee,” “Never Been Kissed,” was jam-packed with plot as it covered the very hot topic of bullying. It’s a lot to fit into one song for this week’s “Glee”-cap, but we did it, so sing along!
Battle of the sexes, mash-ups part two.
Bon Jovi, AC/DC by the girls, who knew?!
Kurt is being bullied by an ignorant jerk, who — surprise! — is actually gay.
Kurt goes to a rival school to spy on the competition
Meets forbidden fruit with a very friendly disposition
Serenades with “Teenage Dream,” lots of cuteness in addition.
He says everything will be OK.
Puck is back from juvie; he and Artie busk for cash,
Play some Marley, treat girls badly, then he dined and dashed.
I know Mark has some fans, but he can’t act, you guys; it’s trash!
[Clip of Puck plays.] See??
Things get super mean for the boys in New Directions.
They have a secret code for when they wanna lose erections:
Beiste in a tutu with her manly inflections.
[Spoken] Wait, this wasn’t really a plot point, was it? Oh …
Rumors start to fly that Beiste’s a Mary Kay Letourneau.
Sue wants her budget back and hopes that Bieste is let go.
Schuester tells her ’bout the boys. She gets upset and whoa! Whoa!
She was a 40-year-old virgin, and Schuester’s all like, “I can make everything better by kissing you!” Typical. [Deep breath.]
Coach sits, never been kissed, how you like it if I quit this bitch?
Boys serenade her with their own mash-up of two big hits and a gender switch.
[Jim speaks, out of breath] I can’t breathe, you guys. Can we go back to the Kurt storyline? That’s all that anyone cares about anyway.
[Singing] Blaine has a gaytervention with the bully closet case.
In the end the bully’s still a bully, a terrible disgrace.
So stand up for yourself, gay kids! Don’t let a minute go to waste!
It gets better! Except … you know … [Clip of Kurt getting slammed into a locker by the bully] … when that happens.
[Jim speaks again.] Yo, “Glee” writers, you gotta pace yourselves better! The first five episodes, nothing happened. Episode six? A hundred things happened! Y’all trying to kill my ass.
What do you think of this week’s “Glee”? Share your reviews in the comments.
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